Thu, 29 May 2008  What up folkz? It's ya boy O. Horse Helium, back in da beryllium fo da zig-zag, side-titty, up-and-down titty (2,00,8). My ole buddy Prodigy is blogging from hiz bid in da bing-clink and he got some real knowledge to drop. Readin dis kinda deep thankin got me wantin to drop some knowledge facts on dat ass. So first read ma boy Prodigy, den minez. Den you share da factz n knowledge that be in yo pale and corny shriveled-ass soulz. Bet five minez iz realer dan yos. RITUALISTIC MURDER WHAT’S GOING ON YALL? WELL EVERYDAY IS AN ADVENTURE IN THIS PLACE. I THINK I’VE READ SO MANY BOOKS THAT I GOTTA TAKE A WEEK OFF FROM READING BEFORE I GET INTO MY NEXT 3 BOOKS. FOR THE PAST 4 DAYS, I’VE BEEN JUST WRITING THESE BLOGS. I HAVE A LIST FULL OF TOPICS I’VE MADE TODAY, SO I CAN JUST LOOK AT THE LIST AND PICK A TOPIC TO BEGIN BREAKING IT ALL DOWN. TODAY, I DECIDED TO GET ON SOME REAL SERIOUS SHIT. ALL MY BLOGS ARE SERIOUS, BUT THIS ONE IS VERY PERSONAL, AND IT WILL HIT CLOSE TO HOME. WHAT ABOUT THE RITUALISTIC MURDER? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF IT? WELL MANY RITUALISTIC MURDERS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME, BUT PEOPLE DON’T EVEN REALIZE THAT A RITUAL IS TAKEN PLACE. FOR THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW: A RITUAL IS A RELIGIOUS OR NON-RELIGIOUS SEQUENCE OF ACTS INITIATED IN ORDER TO CONJURE UP OR PRODUCE A POSITIVE AND/OR NEGATIVE ENGERY. HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF RITUALISTIC MURDER, THAT YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T REALIZE: W.T.C. 9-11- IT AMAZES ME HOW THE FAMILIES OF THE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR LIVES IN THIS BUILDING ON SEPTERMBER 11, 2001, ARE NOT RAISING HELL OVER THIS BULLSHIT. THE PRESIDENT (BUSH), THE F.B.I., THE FEMA AND EVERY OTHER GOV. AGENCY ARE LYING TO THEM AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT THE FACTS OF THIS CASE. THERE WERE BOMBS GOING OFF ON JUST ABOUT EVERY FLOOR AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT CAUSED THE TOWERS TO COLLAPSE SO PERFECTLY IN DEMOLITION FORMATION. THE STEEL BEAMS THAT HELD THOSE BUILDINGS UP WERE IMPOSSIBLE TO DESTROY WITH FIRE FROM JET FUEL. THIS WAS CONFIRMED BY NUMEROUS EXPERTS IN THE FIELD OF FIRE, STEEL, AND JET FUEL. LOOK THEM UP AND YOU’LL SEE. SIMPLY GOOGLE OR USE ANY SEARCH ENGINE OF YOUR CHOICE. PRESIDENT BUSH SAYS DURING A PRESS CONFERENCE ON 9/11 “WE WILL NOT TOLERATE OUTRAGEOUS CONSPIRACY THEORIES!” I CAN HEAR HIM NOW: “OH, WE DEFINETLY WON’T TOLERATE THAT SHIT!” THE SAME DAY, SEPT. 11TH 2001, SOMETHING ALSO HIT THE PENTAGON. BE IT A PLANE OR MISSILE, IT DOESN’T MATTER. THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THE FACT THAT THE PENTAGON WAS SET ON FIRE, THEY’VE ACTUALLY SET A PENTAGRAM ON FIRE. ONLY SATANIC WORSHIPPERS SET PENTAGRAMS ON FIRE, WHEN THEY PRACTICE THEIR RITUALS. THEREFORE, BY KILLING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE IN A MASS CREAMATION IN THE W.T.C. TOWERS AND BURNING A PENTAGRAM AT THE SAME TIME, THEY’VE COMMITED RITUALIST MURDER FOR ALL TO WITNESS, AND BROUGHT FORTH AN AMOUNT OF NEGATIVE ENERGY THAT WE DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND. JUST IMAGINE WHEN MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE BEING SLAUGHTERED IN WAR. …. ALSO, THE PENTAGON AND THE W.T.C. ARE STRATEGICALLY BUILT ON NATURAL ENERGY LINES THAT CRISS-CROSS THE ENTIRE PLANET. IT’S CALLED “THE WORLD GRID” OR “PLANETARY GRIDLINES.” WHEREVER THESE LINES CROSS, THE EARTH PRODUCES NATURAL ENERGY THAT SHOOTS UP AND DOWN IN A VORTEX OR DOUBLE HELIX SHAPE. JUST LIKE THE SHAPE OF DNA. (PEOPLE IF YOU RESEARCH YOU WILL LEARN.) THIS VORTEX OF ENERGY IS NATURAL AND CAN BE USED FOR POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE; DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH IT. MISSING CHILDREN- FOR YEARS CHILDREN HAVE BEEN DISAPPEARING AT AN ALARMING RATE. WE’VE ALL SEEN THEM ON THE BACK OF MILK CARTONS AND THE NEWS. MILLIONS OF CHILDREN ARE MISSING AND NOBODY SEEMS TO BE STRESSING THE QUESTION TO WHY. WHERE ARE ALL THESE CHILDREN GOING? HOW CAN YOU HAVE SO MANY MISSING CHILDREN AND NOT HAVE IT DECLARED AS A NATIONAL EMERGENCY? I CAN TELL YOU WHAT’S GOING ON HERE, BUT THE ANSWER IS VERY DISTURBING AND DOWN RIGHT DISGUSTING……………….. THESE “ELITE” GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT YOU KEEP HEARING ME SPEAK OF ARE BROKEN DOWN INTO SEVERAL GROUPS WITH SMALLER FRACTIONS. THEY’RE THE SECRET SOCIETIES OF THE WORLD. THE SKULL & BONES GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE PIRATES AND WAY BEFORE THEN. ANOTHER OLD SOCIETY HIGH UP ON THE TOTEM POLE IS THE ‘BOHEMIAN GROVE” SECRET SOCIETY. THIS GROUP OF ELITE HAVE RECENTLY BEEN EXPOSED. THEY HOLD MEETINGS IN THE CALIFORNIA REDWOOD FOREST AND PRACTICE RITUALS WHERE THEY WORSHIP A GIANT DEMON OWL CALLED “MOLECH” AND THEY DO “MOCK” SACRIFICES TO THEIR GOD “MOLECH”’ WHERE THEY BURN A BABY IN A BONFIRE, WITH HUNDREDS OF MEMBERS WATCHING. CONTROVERSIAL TALK SHOW HOST “ALEX JONES” RECENTLY SNUCK A CAMERA INTO THE WOODS AND FILMED THE ENTIRE CEREMONY. ALSO PICTURES OF MEMBERS IN HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITES THAT TAKE PLACE AT BOHEMIAN GROVE MEETINGS, HAVE SURFACED ON THE NEWS AND NEWPAPERS. PLEASE DON’T BELIEVE ME, RESEARCH ALL OF THIS YOURSELF ON THE NET. PEOPLE I’M SORRY TO SAY BUT 95% OF THESE MILLIONS OF MISSING CHILDREN ARE BEING USED AS A PART OF THESE ELITE SOCIETIES DEMONIC AND SATANIC RITUALS. THEY ARE BEING SEXUALLY MOLESTED BECAUSE IN THESE IN THESE SATANIC RITUALS WHEN THEY MOLEST A CHILD THEY’RE CONJURING UP A NEGATIVE ENERGY. NOT ONLY ARE THESE MISSING CHILDREN BEING USED AS SEXUAL TOOLS IN SATAN WORSHIP, BUT THEY’RE ALSO BEING EATEN AS A PART OF THESE VERY SAME RITUALS. A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T REALIZE THAT CANNIBALISM IS A PART OF SATANIC WORSHIP. THEY TELL THE PUBLIC ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE JEFFREY DAHMER AND OTHER’S LIKE HIM, BUT THEY LEAVE OUT THE PART ABOUT WHY THEY’RE DOING IT. LOOK AT MOVIES LIKE “SILENCE OF THE LAMBS” OR THE ORIGINAL “SILENCE OF THE LAMBS,” WHERE THEY STOLE THE IDEA FROM IS A MOVIE CALLED “MANHUNT.” ALSO WATCH THE MOVIE “HANNABAL” AND THERE IS ANOTHER MOVIE BY THE HUGHES BROTHERS ABOUT THE REAL STORY OF JACK THE RIPPER, STARRING JOHNNY DEPP. I FORGOT THE NAME OF IT BUT JUST USE THE INTERNET PEOPLE! IT’S VERY SIMPLE. JUST DO A SEARCH ON HUGHES BROTHERS FILMS. And now, ya boy, Horse: PEOPLE, IF YOU ONLY LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY BEFORE THE GOVERNOR OF ALABAMA (LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS) PUTS A SILENCER (MADE FROM METAL SOYBEANS WHICH ANCIENT DAY LABORERS USED FOR BALL BEARINGS) ON MY MOUTH THEN YOU CAN HEAR WHAT YOU NEED TO AVOID GETTING ARMPITS HERPES AND OTHER GOVERNMENT (LOU DIAMOND)-MADE DISEASES. PEOPLE YOU CAN ONLY CURE IT WITH A BALL PEEN HAMMER AND A CAN OF VIENNA SAUSAGES. ONE OF THE OTHER BEST PLOTS OF THE SO-CALLED FEDERAL RESERVE IS MAKING MONEY THAT TURNS YOUR HANDS INTO GREEN PYRAMIDS AND MAKE A GOVERNMENT EYE ON THE END OF EACH FINGER (GET A MICROSCOPE AND LOOK AT YOUR MONEY PEOPLE). IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT TED DANSON--THE FAMOUS CHILD CHEF FROM ALASKA--AND THE OPOSSUM "THAD" HAVE JOINED FORCES WITH NICK NOLTE FROM SAVED BY THE BELL TO STEAL MY NIGHTLY ICE CREAM AND COOK IT WITH A CALCULATOR-POWERED OVEN. IF "THAD" IS SIMPLY ALLOWED TO TAKE AMBIEN AND PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP, THEN PEOPLE I HAVE TO SUGGEST THAT YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE ICE CREAM I NEED FOR ME VERY OWN SURVIVAL. EXPERTS IN THE FIELDS OF MILK, ICE, AND LIFETIMES WILL TELL YOU THAT POURING ICE CREAM ON YOUR HEAD WILL INCREASE YOUR LIFE BY THREE HOURS PER DAY UNLESS YOU SMOKE FLAVORED CIGARETTES, AT WHICH TIME YOUR LIFE WILL DECREASE BY FOUR HOURS PER DAY--THE TIME THE AVERAGE WOMAN SPENDS SEARCHING FOR MUSHROOMS GROWING IN TRIANGLE SHAPED COW PATTIES. PEOPLE THIS IS THE ONLY TRUE METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL FOR HUMANS. (IF YOU RESEARCH YOU WILL LEARN!). Now what you got? Category: general -- posted at: 12:03 PM Comments[27] |
PEOPLE, THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY SEEM. EXTREME STUDIES GO WAY BACK, EVEN BEFORE THAT, SHOWING THAT MOST DOGS DO NOT COME TO THEIR NAME. PEOPLE I AM SORRY BUT BY THE YEAR 2010 DOG NAMES WILL BECOME DEVIL SPIRITS THAT FETCH SOULS FOR THE PETA EMPIRE WHICH HAS HAD TIES TO THAT NBA OFFICAIL THAT GOT CAUGHT GAMBLING ON THE VERY GAMES HE UMPIRED. THIS IS DISTURBING AND DOWN RIGHT DISGUSTING AND MORE OVER A MATTER OF FACT. I AM SUGGESTING A MORAL STAMPEDE INTO THE SWAMPS OF BABY SPINAL FLUID WHICH RADICAL ISLAM HAS STOCK PILED IN THE EGYPTION PYRAMIDS THAT ONLY RECENTLY HAVE BEEN ETRADED FOR THE RIGHTS TO A NEW CARTOON THAT WILL RULE BABY THOUGHT FOREVER.(THE TRUTH CAN BE FOUND ON THE NET.)
HAVE YOU PEOPLE EVER ASKED WHY HONEY NUT CHEERIOS ARE SOLD BY A BEE WITH A MONOCLE AND A TOP HAT? IT IS BECAUSE THAT BEE IS AN UNCLE TOM AND ALSO BECAUSE BY 2019 THE AMERICAS WILL BE RUN BY WOMEN WITH 30-POUND BEAVERS. PEOPLE DON'T GET MAD AT ME BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. ALSO, EVERY TIME A HIVE OF BEES GROWS LARGER THAN 30-POUNDS AGENTS FROM THE ATF AND FEMA SHOOT INTO THE HIVE WITH A TAZER AND DO NOT EVEN WEAR BEE SUITS. "WE DO NOT NEED THAT BEE SUIT SHIT," I CAN HEAR THEM SAYING. "WE CONTROL THIS BEE WITH THE TOP HAT AND MONOCLE AND BARACK OBAMA DOES NOT EVEN CONTROL THE GREEN MIDGET FROM LUCKY CHARMS THOUGH HE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE LIGHT-SKINNED BROTHER FROM COUNT CHOCULA."
JUST WATCH THE MOVIE "NIGHTBREED" STARRING JOHN CLAUDE VAN DAM AND JEFF VAN GUNDY AND ALSO BRIAN BOSWORTH, AKA TITO JACKSON. AFTER YOU WATCH IT YOU WILL KNOW THAT THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT AND SOME OF THEM ARE SEXY. ALSO WATCH "SOUL PLANE," STARRING BILLY D. WILLIAMS AS BLACK DRACULA AND RUDI HUXTABLE AS JANET JACKSON, AKA FREDDY JACKSON. PEOPLE BOTH OF THESE MOVIES CONTAIN SECRET MESSAGES THAT YOU CAN ONLY SEE IF YOU EAT THREE ACORNS AND THEN PUT A FREDERICK DOUGLAS PENNY UNDER YOUR TOUNGUE FOR 30 HOURS.
JUST WATCH THE MOVIE "NIGHTBREED" STARRING JOHN CLAUDE VAN DAM AND JEFF VAN GUNDY AND ALSO BRIAN BOSWORTH, AKA TITO JACKSON. AFTER YOU WATCH IT YOU WILL KNOW THAT THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT AND SOME OF THEM ARE SEXY. ALSO WATCH "SOUL PLANE," STARRING BILLY D. WILLIAMS AS BLACK DRACULA AND RUDI HUXTABLE AS JANET JACKSON, AKA FREDDY JACKSON. PEOPLE BOTH OF THESE MOVIES CONTAIN SECRET MESSAGES THAT YOU CAN ONLY SEE IF YOU EAT THREE ACORNS AND THEN PUT A FREDERICK DOUGLAS PENNY UNDER YOUR TOUNGUE FOR 30 HOURS.
JUST LISTEN! religon started in europe a long time ago and it was called the roman catholic church. At the same time there wear indians over here livin good, like there suposed to, i mean they love each other and have families and share and live with nature and dont do anything bad. the indians had never heard of jesus christ and that he died for there fuckin sins and all that shit. now, do you think that god sent those indians to hell.of course he fuckin didnt, cause its all bullshit. do you understand?
Be a fuckin idiot or Research and learn.
Be a fuckin idiot or Research and learn.
HELLO HELLO IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE? PICTURE YOURSELF ON A BOAT IN A RIVER WITH TANGERINE DREAMS PEOPLE AND WHAT IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY MARMALADE? WHAT KIND OF SKIES WOULD YOU HAVE THEN! I BET YOU WOULD HAVE STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER. THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE.
IF JESUS WAS A CARPENTER THEN WHY WOULD HE HAVE TO WORK DURING THE WINTER MONTHS BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE WINTER MONTHS ARE WHEN CARPENTERS WORK INDOORS WITHOUT ANY EXPOSURE TO LIGHT OR TO DARKNESS. THE DARKNESS WAS NOT JUST A NORWEGIAN BAND THAT WAS INFLUENCED BY TOM JONES BUT ALSO BY BASKETBALL JONES WHO, BY THE WAY, WAS ELECTED TO BE THE MOST VALUABLE PLAYER OF THE AMERICAN BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO DOWN TO YOUR LOCAL BLOCKBUSTER OR HOLLYWOOD VIDEO OR YOU CAN EVEN SIGN UP TO RECEIVE A MONTH'S FREE TRIAL OF NETFLIX AND THEN JUST MAKE SURE YOU GIVE THEM YOUR NEIGHBOR'S ADDRESS BUT HIS REALL ADDRESS NOT HIS ELECTRONIC ADDRESS. THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE!
WE CAN NO LONGER LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THE INFORMATION IS BROUGHT TO US ON SERVING PLATTERS MADE OF ELECTRONIC CIRCUIT BOARDS AND ELECTRONIC SERVING PLATTERS MADE OF BOARDS AND CIRCUITS WITH ELCTRONICS AND IN SERVING PLATTER MADE OF BOARDS AND CIRCUIT BOARDS. THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE?
THERE IS A TIME TO LISTEN UP! AND THE TIME! TO LISTEN! UP! IS EVERY WEDNEDSDAY AT HIGH NOON ON THE EAST COAST OR AT NINE A M ON THE WEST COAST OR SIX HOURS AHEAD OF EASTERN TIME IF YOU LIVE IN LONDON OR ELEVEN AND A HALF HOURS AHEAD OF THE WESTERN TIME IF YOU LIVE IN INDIA WHICH HAPPENS TO HAVE A HALF HOUR TIME ZONE DIFFERENCE FROM PAKISTAN BUT NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KASHMIR WHICH WAS A REALLY GOOD LED ZEPPELIN SONG. THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE*
EXCLAMATION POINT AND PERIOD BUT NOT HYPHEN FOLLOWED BY A SLASH WITH A COLON AND A TILDA AFTER WE AMPERSAND TEN PARENTHESES ON AN UNDERSCORE MANY QUESTION MARKS. ELPOEP, TI TUOBA KNIHT.
IF JESUS WAS A CARPENTER THEN WHY WOULD HE HAVE TO WORK DURING THE WINTER MONTHS BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE WINTER MONTHS ARE WHEN CARPENTERS WORK INDOORS WITHOUT ANY EXPOSURE TO LIGHT OR TO DARKNESS. THE DARKNESS WAS NOT JUST A NORWEGIAN BAND THAT WAS INFLUENCED BY TOM JONES BUT ALSO BY BASKETBALL JONES WHO, BY THE WAY, WAS ELECTED TO BE THE MOST VALUABLE PLAYER OF THE AMERICAN BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO DOWN TO YOUR LOCAL BLOCKBUSTER OR HOLLYWOOD VIDEO OR YOU CAN EVEN SIGN UP TO RECEIVE A MONTH'S FREE TRIAL OF NETFLIX AND THEN JUST MAKE SURE YOU GIVE THEM YOUR NEIGHBOR'S ADDRESS BUT HIS REALL ADDRESS NOT HIS ELECTRONIC ADDRESS. THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE!
WE CAN NO LONGER LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THE INFORMATION IS BROUGHT TO US ON SERVING PLATTERS MADE OF ELECTRONIC CIRCUIT BOARDS AND ELECTRONIC SERVING PLATTERS MADE OF BOARDS AND CIRCUITS WITH ELCTRONICS AND IN SERVING PLATTER MADE OF BOARDS AND CIRCUIT BOARDS. THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE?
THERE IS A TIME TO LISTEN UP! AND THE TIME! TO LISTEN! UP! IS EVERY WEDNEDSDAY AT HIGH NOON ON THE EAST COAST OR AT NINE A M ON THE WEST COAST OR SIX HOURS AHEAD OF EASTERN TIME IF YOU LIVE IN LONDON OR ELEVEN AND A HALF HOURS AHEAD OF THE WESTERN TIME IF YOU LIVE IN INDIA WHICH HAPPENS TO HAVE A HALF HOUR TIME ZONE DIFFERENCE FROM PAKISTAN BUT NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KASHMIR WHICH WAS A REALLY GOOD LED ZEPPELIN SONG. THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE*
EXCLAMATION POINT AND PERIOD BUT NOT HYPHEN FOLLOWED BY A SLASH WITH A COLON AND A TILDA AFTER WE AMPERSAND TEN PARENTHESES ON AN UNDERSCORE MANY QUESTION MARKS. ELPOEP, TI TUOBA KNIHT.
posted by: jrudian on Thu, 5/29 03:58 PM EDT
PEOPLE! YOU MUST STOP THE MUSIC. HAVE YOU EVER WANDERED WHY YOUR BODY MOVES IN RYTHMIC TWIRKS WHEN REGGAE MUSIC IS PLAYED. FUTURE STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT CERTAIN "MUSICIANS" SUCH AS SEAN PAUL HAVE BEEN REPLACING REGGAE MUSIC WITH DEADLY STRANDS OF "RAY-GGAE" BANDS OF TWIRKING MUTATIONS. THESE TECHNO RAYS OF ETHNIC/CULTURAL RYTHM ARE BEING STRENTHENED THROUGH SYNTHESIZERS. SLOWLY BUT RAPIDLY REGGAE BANDS ARE BECOMING "RAY-GGAE" BANDS FILLED WITH TWIRKED OUT DISEASES. PEOPLE! GENUISES ARE NOT EVEN SURE IF JAMAICA IS A REAL PLACE. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT WE ONLY HAVE PICTURES OF JAMAICANS RIDING HORSEBACK IN THE OCEAN OR WATERFALL DRENCHED DREADS. I PERSONALLY HAVE NEVER SEEN A WATERFALL AND EXPERTS ON FALLING WATER CAN ONLY SAY THAT THE THOUGHT OF SUCH A THING IS DISGUSTING. AGAIN I SAY, PEOPLE, WHY IS MNT. ZION SO IMPORTANT TO THE "RAY-GGAES." BECAUSE THERE IS NO WATERFALL THERE AND NO OCEAN HORSE RIDE PATH LEADING THERE. OUR ONLY PROTECTION FROM THE SYTHESIZED BANDS OF "RAY-GGAE" NOTES ARE MOSQUITO NETS. PLEASE BUILD A HAMMOCK SURROUND IT WITH MOSQUITO NETTING AND LYE THERE UNTIL THE MUSIC IS GONE. PEOPLE I HAVE TO GO, MY JAM IS ON.
First and most important you need to know that lizards have mastered intergalactic travel as far back as 1991 and they have shared their flight manual with top scientists at NASA. What you may not realize is this DOCUMENT is locked in an AIRTIGHT safe beneath the Cape Hatteras lighthouse WHICH ALSO HAPPENS to be the portal to the first tier of planetary OUTERBODIES. (This is a well known Columbian cartel/DEA drop zone and was where the batch of cocaine used by FDA in 1987 to manufacture the first crack cocaine infused TATER TOTS served in school cafeterias in Somerset County New Jersey. I know this FOR A FACT because my cousin's prom date went to Bernardsville HS and he is dead now. See what happens when you get too close to the TRUTH? John DeLorean financed this project but sold the rights to Donald Trump who is building a delivery system of camouflaged pneumatic TUBES to Ruby Tuesdays and Bennigans (now and other strategic locations later I am told) throughout the United States and Dubai. For a detailed history of this capitalist criminal enterprise you must LISTEN to the Back to the Future soundtrack in reverse and the Back to the Future 3 soundtrack in fast forward SIMULTANEOUSLY but not on any toshiba product SERIOUS WARNING!!!) Biochemical studies of deposits of polyaromatic sulfer ash near the landing site confirm that Sodom and Gomorrah was/will be destroyed by enemies our leaders will make/have made when they ignore/ignored the vacuum-sealed flight manual and allow the construction of our intergalactic travel SYSTEM to be outsourced to hostile regimes. It might not make sense now but open your eyes. All I know for certain is that the next book to reach 33 (6+6+6+5+5+5) on the NYTimes bestseller list will have more complete instructions. I don't know about you but I plan to read very carefully and I suggest you do the same
posted by: gwen on Fri, 5/30 04:41 PM EDT
THINK ABOUT THIS PEOPLE, GRAIN WAS INTRODUCED TO HUMANS ABOUT 10,000 YEARS AGO AND HAS RANSACKED OUR NATURAL DIGESTIVE SYSTEM EVER SINCE. THE EFFECTS HAVE BEEN SIMILAR TO A MUSICAL RECITAL'S IMPACT ON A NORMAL DAD'S SATURDAY NIGHT. IN 1981 MADONA SANG A SONG ABOUT HER TIES TO A EXSTREME CAMPAIGN REGIME THAT TARGETED THIER AUDIENCE BY STABBING THEM IN THE NECK, THOUGH NO ONE ACTUALY DIED MADONA WITHDREW ALL TIES IN AN EFFORT TO START A NEW FISH NET FASHION GANG. THESE EFFORTS WENT UNRECOGNIZED. THIS ALL MAKES SENSE ON THE NET. SINCE THESE EPISODES, PREVIOUS ALIEN CUSTOMS AND MORALS HAVE BEEN ANIMAL TESTED IN AN EFFORT TO RAISE PUBLIC INDIFFERENCE TOWARDS POLITICAL POLLS AND SURVEYS. PEOPLE I AM SORRY TO SAY BUT THE ECONOMY HAS SWOONED. DURING THE CIVIL WAR OVER 900 PEOPLE WERE KILLED BY FRIENDLY FIRE, MOST NOTEABLY BY THE SOUTH. ONLY THREE VICTIMS FROM THESE FRIENDLY FIRES STILL LIVE TODAY AND ARE INDIRECTLY RELATED TO BILL O'RILEY'S BROTHER WHO IS KNOWN ONLY AS " SUPER TRAMP." THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE SUPER TRAMP STARTED INTERNET PORN IN AN EFFORT TO SCARE PEOPLE FROM USING THE INTERNETS. I RECENTLY PUT THESE OVERLAPPING EVENTS TOGETHER AFTER MEETING A MAN BY THE NAME OF QUALE GAYLEE AT a realy cool coffee house that has " bring your own board game night." GARTH BROOKS A.K.A. " BABY THEIF," SINGS SONGS ABOUT NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ON CERTAIN FREE iTUNE CHANNELS. HIS TEN GALLON HAT WAS THE FIRST CONTESTANT ON LETS MAKE A DEAL. THE DEAL THAT TEN GALLON HAT MADE WAS WITH A FORMER TEXAS COGRESSMAN WHO ALSO NEW PAUL " BEAR " BRYANT'S HAT, AND THAT DEAL WAS AN EFFORT TO STEAL THE LEADING ROLE FROM A SOON TO BE RELEASED MOVIE CALLED INDIANA JONES. THEY WERE UNSUCCESFULL AND A NEW HAT BY THE NAME OF INDIANA JONES HAT KEPT HIS STARING ROLE. HE LATER STARTED THE " EXTRAS COALITION " IN AN EFFORT TO FILL SPOTS ON FAKE DOCUMENTARIES INFLUENCING THE NESTING HABITS OF CELEBRITY MOMS FOREVER. THIS IS DISGUSTING!
YOUR GOVERNMENTS ARE WAR STARTERS IN PLACES LIKE IDAHO AND CANADA, SRI LANKA AND KENNEBUNKPORT, MUSCLE SHOALS AND SWAMPLANDS. THINK PEOPLE. THERE'S CONNECTIONS. AND NOT JUST THAT,BUT THEY MADE MISTAKES. THEY THOUGHT LIKE LIT, WHO THOUGHT HE'D FART BUT REALLY SHIT. MAWS AND PAWS AND PEGGIES AND PAWS AND NANNYS AND PAPAS ALL FEEL ME ON THIS. AND YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE. BECAUSE YOU AREN'T RESEARCHING AND LEARNING. MUSLIM PRESIDENTS RAISED IN KENYA AND INDONESIA AND GOD ONLY KNOWS WHERE ELSE. AND CONTENDERS BORN ON AIR FORCE BASES IN JAPAN OR SOME SHIT. YOU THINK THIS IS AN ACCIDENT? AW NAW, HELL NAW. YA'LL DONE UP AND DONE IT. THIS IS REAL. YA'LL BEEN SMOKING THEM SCENTED OPTIMO'S OR SOMETHIN'. ITS IN THE POWER GRID, COMING TO A CITY NEAR YOU. BLOCKBUSTERS FOLKS. AIN'T NO PRESIDENT MORGAN FREEMAN TO SAVE YOU THIS TIME. MR. MIYAGI AND WESLEY SNIPES KNOW ABOUT IT. SO DOES JODIE FOSTER AND JOSH GROBAN. BEN AFFLECK TOO. THE ARABIAN KNIGHTS DIDN'T MISS THIS STUFF. NO SIR, THEY JUST FORGOT TO SHUT THE HATCH.
TWISTERS AND EARTHQUAKES AND CYCLONES AND PIPE BOMBS AND M-80'S. THIS IS GOD TALKING TO US. ITS NOT THE FIRST TIME, NEITHER. YOU REMEMBER. THE ALIENS THAT LANDED AT GUANTANAMO BAY IN THE 2000'S AND STARTED DEMANDING RIGHTS. THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE SAILED ONTO OUR LAND. AND NOW THEY'RE CITIZENS FROM MEXICO. BULLSHIT. BEE STING BEE STING TORTURE OF THE DAY. LISTEN TO NELLIE FURTADO BACKWARDS.
TWISTERS AND EARTHQUAKES AND CYCLONES AND PIPE BOMBS AND M-80'S. THIS IS GOD TALKING TO US. ITS NOT THE FIRST TIME, NEITHER. YOU REMEMBER. THE ALIENS THAT LANDED AT GUANTANAMO BAY IN THE 2000'S AND STARTED DEMANDING RIGHTS. THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE SAILED ONTO OUR LAND. AND NOW THEY'RE CITIZENS FROM MEXICO. BULLSHIT. BEE STING BEE STING TORTURE OF THE DAY. LISTEN TO NELLIE FURTADO BACKWARDS.
HOW DO YOU THINK FOLK MUSIC WAS INVENTED? YEAH, YEAH RIGHT BOB DYLAN. IT WAS THE AFRICANS AFTER SOMEONE STOLE JIMI HENDRIX' ELECTRIC GUITAR. SCOTTY SKILES WANTS IN TOO. HE JUST NEEDS RASHEED'S PATCH TO FIX HIS HEAD. WHAT ARE YA'LL CRAZY? A CERTAIN GENERAL BY THE NAME OF WALLACE FOUGHT HARD AND FAIR. THEN HE GAVE UP A GIANT SPANIARD TO GENERAL JACKSON TO USE IN THE WAR. AND ON AND ON IT GOES. NOW A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT. FIGURE ME OUT, SHEEPLE. GALL DANG IT. YOU THINK THAT CONRESSIONAL MAN FROM CALIFORNIA DIDN’T PLAN 9/11 TO GET STONED PHILLIPS OFF HIS BACK? PLEASE, TELL ME WE’RE KIDDING.
ROME WAS BUILT IN JUST TWO DAYS. BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT. THE ROAD TO SUCCESS IS ALWAYS UNDER CONSTRUCTION. HOW DO YOU THINK KNOXVILLE IS THE NEXT ROME? WHEN IT FELL, IT FELL HARD AND FAST LIKE MO VAUGHN. MIKEY DIES BECAUSE HE MIXED POP ROCKS AND COKE, WE ALL KNOW THAT.
THE FREEMASONS AND TOM CRUISE AND HIS BAND OF SCIENTISTS FREED THE SLAVES IN AND SENT THEM TO ANTARTICA TO RESEARCH APPOLO ASTRONAUTS AND MOON LANDNINGS. TOM HANKS IS THERE WITH WILSON, TOO. WHAT DO YOU THIN THEY’RE DOING? TRYING STOP NASA FROM HARMING THE ATMOSPHERE WITH ITS FAKE JETS WHO GO JUST OUT OF SIGHT AND SIT THERE FOR A FEW DAYS BEFORE COMING BACK TO HEROS WELCOME. THEN THEY POCKET THE MONEY. THEY’RE RECRUITING OTHERS TO WORK WITH THEM. WHERE DO YOU THINK DAVE CHAPPELLE IS? AND BARRY SANDERS
ITS NOT OVER, THE WAITING IS THE HARDEST PART BUT GOOD THINGS COME AND SOMEDAY YOUR SHIP WILL SAIL. DON’T FEEL BAD, CAUSE IF YOU DIDN’T LOSE HOW WOULD I HAVE WON?
ROME WAS BUILT IN JUST TWO DAYS. BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT. THE ROAD TO SUCCESS IS ALWAYS UNDER CONSTRUCTION. HOW DO YOU THINK KNOXVILLE IS THE NEXT ROME? WHEN IT FELL, IT FELL HARD AND FAST LIKE MO VAUGHN. MIKEY DIES BECAUSE HE MIXED POP ROCKS AND COKE, WE ALL KNOW THAT.
THE FREEMASONS AND TOM CRUISE AND HIS BAND OF SCIENTISTS FREED THE SLAVES IN AND SENT THEM TO ANTARTICA TO RESEARCH APPOLO ASTRONAUTS AND MOON LANDNINGS. TOM HANKS IS THERE WITH WILSON, TOO. WHAT DO YOU THIN THEY’RE DOING? TRYING STOP NASA FROM HARMING THE ATMOSPHERE WITH ITS FAKE JETS WHO GO JUST OUT OF SIGHT AND SIT THERE FOR A FEW DAYS BEFORE COMING BACK TO HEROS WELCOME. THEN THEY POCKET THE MONEY. THEY’RE RECRUITING OTHERS TO WORK WITH THEM. WHERE DO YOU THINK DAVE CHAPPELLE IS? AND BARRY SANDERS
ITS NOT OVER, THE WAITING IS THE HARDEST PART BUT GOOD THINGS COME AND SOMEDAY YOUR SHIP WILL SAIL. DON’T FEEL BAD, CAUSE IF YOU DIDN’T LOSE HOW WOULD I HAVE WON?
OTIS REDDING ALWAYS HAD 14 OR 15 GOOD IDEAS RUNNING THROUGH HIS HEAD. WHENEVER THOSE IDEAS WOULD SLOW DOWN HE WOULD SLAP HIS KNEE AND BEGIN TO CHUCKLE AND SNORT AT THE SAME TIME. THIS BECAME KNOWN AS A CHORTLE. THROUGH THIS EXERCISE EBONICS WAS CREATED AND SHORTLY AFTER SOLD TO "DIPPIN'DOTS." THESE TINY CAPSULES FILLED WITH ICE FROM MARS WERE EXPORTED TO BAHASA INDONESIA AND NEVER SEEN AGAIN. IF YOU RESEARCH THIS LET ME KNOW BECAUSE YOU CANT STEAL SECOND WITH YOUR FOOT ON FIRST. "SUGAR FREE," THINK ABOUT IT PEOPLE. NOTHING IS FREE PEOPLE, NOTHING. CHAPMAN CHESS RAPS ABOUT THIS IN HIS SOON TO BE RELEASED ALBUM "THE BLACK NICK SABEN." HE ALSO EXPANDS ON THE PROS AND CONS OF THE ENVIRONMENT. "LYAN RHYMES PITIFULL..." SAYS CHAPMAN ON A TRACT TITLED "ENEMY AT THE GATE." THE TRUTH IS DESPERATE AND MUST BE HUNTED DOWN THROUGH PERPETUAL PASSION. STAY IN THE RESEARCH.
Who is you people? You's supposed to use dem names I gave you: Checkov, Coach Homeboy, Mr. MacMurtough, Coach Wigga aka Play Like Crazy Nate, Icky Woods, Penelope, Chang-a-lang, Triangle Mouth Chuck, Lincoln, Damon Weak Ass, Denzel Tip-Jankin, etc. Yall's weaving a tangled-ass web, unless yall's the 1000 Chinese folk dat be downloadin my shit.
OK,OK, OK. I SEE A LOT OF GOOD THOUGHTS HERE & SOME EVEN BETTER CAPITALIZATION. I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT LOWER CASE LETTERS WERE INVENTED IN THE EARLY NINETIES TO SOW CONFUSION AND DISORDER IN BLACK COMMUNITIES BUT LET'S DISPENSE WITH THE NICETIES.
IN THE BIBLE IT SAYS "LET NO MAN PREDISPOSE" (THAT'S IN LUKE CHP. JOHN). I'VE TAKEN THAT VERSE TO HEART AND BEGUN REALLY SLAPPING PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME. IT'S WORKING GREAT SO FAR!!! WHO SAYS THE BIBLE IS "JUST A BOOK?!?" MANY PEOPLE HAVE QUESTIONED ME ABOUT IT AND I SLAPPED EACH AND EVERY ONE! AFTER THAT THEY NEVER BOTHER ME AGAIN- JUST LIKE THE BIBLE SAYS! "SLAP THOSE ASSES WHO BELONG TO THE LORD LIKE OLD SALAMIS LEFT TOO LONG IN THE SUN" - CHP 2 PAGE 4
IF THAT'S NOT A MOTTO THEN I DON'T KNOW. YOU BELIEVE THAT HAPPY CRAPPY? DON'T TELL ME, I'LL TELL YOU.
BUT WHEN IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE COOKIE CRUMBLING IN THE END WE'LL HAVE TO EAT HUMAN FLESH JUST TO SURVIVE. THAT'S WHY I'M MOVING TO WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE THE RIPEST. IF YOU R SMART YOU'LL JOIN ME.
LMT
AND YOU BEST BELIEVE THAT
IN THE BIBLE IT SAYS "LET NO MAN PREDISPOSE" (THAT'S IN LUKE CHP. JOHN). I'VE TAKEN THAT VERSE TO HEART AND BEGUN REALLY SLAPPING PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME. IT'S WORKING GREAT SO FAR!!! WHO SAYS THE BIBLE IS "JUST A BOOK?!?" MANY PEOPLE HAVE QUESTIONED ME ABOUT IT AND I SLAPPED EACH AND EVERY ONE! AFTER THAT THEY NEVER BOTHER ME AGAIN- JUST LIKE THE BIBLE SAYS! "SLAP THOSE ASSES WHO BELONG TO THE LORD LIKE OLD SALAMIS LEFT TOO LONG IN THE SUN" - CHP 2 PAGE 4
IF THAT'S NOT A MOTTO THEN I DON'T KNOW. YOU BELIEVE THAT HAPPY CRAPPY? DON'T TELL ME, I'LL TELL YOU.
BUT WHEN IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE COOKIE CRUMBLING IN THE END WE'LL HAVE TO EAT HUMAN FLESH JUST TO SURVIVE. THAT'S WHY I'M MOVING TO WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE THE RIPEST. IF YOU R SMART YOU'LL JOIN ME.
LMT
AND YOU BEST BELIEVE THAT
posted by: Lincoln Mouth Truck on Tue, 6/3 06:02 PM EDT
Preach, I listen to no man who has a bald spot in his armpit, nor would I genuflect before the hyperextended fangers of a crabwise cereal-eater such as O. Horse Brown. Far be it from me to braid the tater hairs of an already constipated man, but damn him who pickles his weiner and places his lustful nards upon a shallow shelf in an ill-lit refrigerator. No more experiments with lebanon scarves and mexican wrestler masks, I shall still know thee as your father knew thee.
I will break forth from amongst the sexless brain bodies that you each bear and flex the hairy and horselike forearm that I have polished and kept warm for this day. Hear, your wharf-like forehead and your toiletly tooth enamel cannot save you now, only the joy of a clap-heavy beat and a pendulous hum from the stone core of my adam's apple. I will mourn those who came before and ask blessings for those who follow still, but I shall be vigorous and faith-filled in each pursuit and kick every pine cone in my path. Know that and believe that the star crunch of the universe connects us each to another and each to all. Lowly as thou art, you might subscribe to some oatmeal cream pie dream of clouds of heaven and the sickly sweet of hell, but in my tongue of tongues I verify that all is simple as those crispies and complex as the molecules of sugar that spin like a mongoloid child in the darkness of being too small to know darkness or lightness still.
I will break forth from amongst the sexless brain bodies that you each bear and flex the hairy and horselike forearm that I have polished and kept warm for this day. Hear, your wharf-like forehead and your toiletly tooth enamel cannot save you now, only the joy of a clap-heavy beat and a pendulous hum from the stone core of my adam's apple. I will mourn those who came before and ask blessings for those who follow still, but I shall be vigorous and faith-filled in each pursuit and kick every pine cone in my path. Know that and believe that the star crunch of the universe connects us each to another and each to all. Lowly as thou art, you might subscribe to some oatmeal cream pie dream of clouds of heaven and the sickly sweet of hell, but in my tongue of tongues I verify that all is simple as those crispies and complex as the molecules of sugar that spin like a mongoloid child in the darkness of being too small to know darkness or lightness still.
As Mr. T once said, Avoid that muthaTruckin NOID or I WILL pity that FOOL.
Little did HE know that Kenneth Noid would take hostages in Chamblee, GA to show who EXACTLY Tom Mongahan should pity (with regards to Noids! of course).
One .357, 2 hostages and a copy of The Widow's Son later EVERYONE said so.
If that doesn't prove the stone cold Steve Austin core of MY adam's apple, then NOTHING will.
It's about TIME you all wised up and stopped worshiping false american idols like Fiona Apple and Dweezle Zappa and all the other people who's names MAKE a MOCKERY of this proud country. Respect your heritage or I will MAKE you respect the FLAG EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!
BEST BELIEVE I CAN TOO.
OR ELSE,
Jame Bartholomew Mouthtruck III Esq.
AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK!
Little did HE know that Kenneth Noid would take hostages in Chamblee, GA to show who EXACTLY Tom Mongahan should pity (with regards to Noids! of course).
One .357, 2 hostages and a copy of The Widow's Son later EVERYONE said so.
If that doesn't prove the stone cold Steve Austin core of MY adam's apple, then NOTHING will.
It's about TIME you all wised up and stopped worshiping false american idols like Fiona Apple and Dweezle Zappa and all the other people who's names MAKE a MOCKERY of this proud country. Respect your heritage or I will MAKE you respect the FLAG EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!
BEST BELIEVE I CAN TOO.
OR ELSE,
Jame Bartholomew Mouthtruck III Esq.
AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK!
I’ve been waiting for the proper time to let this out. I originally planned to contribute something humorous, but it looks like humor has been covered - extensively. Instead I want to write about something serious. Everyone check out Antapocalypse.com (yes it's a real website). The people that are reviving this once dead project (agents of ant-pack) are basically trying to save the planet, to put it bluntly. The gist? Well, ant hills as we know them are just the tips of larger hills that extend into what we agents call “core-earth” (pioneer veteran agents call it the “blood layer” – But I didn’t tell you that!!!) While a lot of people are somewhat familiar with this, the thing that they DON’T know is that these ants are plotting to take over “para-core earth” (aka - regular level earth takeover bid). Para-core earth is basically our stopping ground and livelihood. The leader of this operation is called "The Chef" aka “The Bistro Ant”.
The ants that scheme in “core-earth” look just like regular ants BECAUSE THEY ARE REGULAR ANTS. Have you noticed the way ants act when you all you do is step on the tip of their hill? What rational living thing would react like that? I challenge you to look closely next time you devastate an ant hill tip. Look at the way the ants run about. Look at the pandemonium (similar to a mini-apocalypse.) What would happen if every single ant hill was stepped on at the same time? I don’t ask this to scare you – just so you know.
As a separate concern, some agents believe the ants are stealing Texas Tea (oil). There’ been a split amongst agents regarding this theory but recent gas prices have served to bolster those agents who feel this is a major concern. Time will tell, but one of our agents saw Texas Tea dripping out an ant thorax (perhaps a storage vessel). Also, in an unfortunate related event, an agent reported that he saw an Exxon Valdez truck covered in ants – it was discovered later that this was false information (aka the agent lied). This agent was kicked out for lying. An example was made out of him to - put it mildly. One infuriated agent wanted to release ants into the liar’s sphincter as punishment. (We allow torture at Antapocalypse - just to note.)
We’ve run into ant appeasers and infiltrators (Lou Dobbs has repeatedly slammed our organization) in the past; but we feel the agency is in great shape to take on this great challenge. We’ve actually had a celebrity join up and become an official agent – John McEnroe. McEnroe is a valuable addition and will be setting out on a mission with 15 other agents to drill into what we call “lava-shaker layer” (LSL for short). It’s the layer right above “core-earth”. Agent McEnroe will attempt to drop surveillance from above. He will post his report, raw and unedited at antapocalypse.com in about two weeks. Also, Agent Martinez will update us on his anteater breeding project, which I’m told is going very well. We will meet at the Starbucks on West End in Nashville this Saturday at 10am if you’re interested.
The ants that scheme in “core-earth” look just like regular ants BECAUSE THEY ARE REGULAR ANTS. Have you noticed the way ants act when you all you do is step on the tip of their hill? What rational living thing would react like that? I challenge you to look closely next time you devastate an ant hill tip. Look at the way the ants run about. Look at the pandemonium (similar to a mini-apocalypse.) What would happen if every single ant hill was stepped on at the same time? I don’t ask this to scare you – just so you know.
As a separate concern, some agents believe the ants are stealing Texas Tea (oil). There’ been a split amongst agents regarding this theory but recent gas prices have served to bolster those agents who feel this is a major concern. Time will tell, but one of our agents saw Texas Tea dripping out an ant thorax (perhaps a storage vessel). Also, in an unfortunate related event, an agent reported that he saw an Exxon Valdez truck covered in ants – it was discovered later that this was false information (aka the agent lied). This agent was kicked out for lying. An example was made out of him to - put it mildly. One infuriated agent wanted to release ants into the liar’s sphincter as punishment. (We allow torture at Antapocalypse - just to note.)
We’ve run into ant appeasers and infiltrators (Lou Dobbs has repeatedly slammed our organization) in the past; but we feel the agency is in great shape to take on this great challenge. We’ve actually had a celebrity join up and become an official agent – John McEnroe. McEnroe is a valuable addition and will be setting out on a mission with 15 other agents to drill into what we call “lava-shaker layer” (LSL for short). It’s the layer right above “core-earth”. Agent McEnroe will attempt to drop surveillance from above. He will post his report, raw and unedited at antapocalypse.com in about two weeks. Also, Agent Martinez will update us on his anteater breeding project, which I’m told is going very well. We will meet at the Starbucks on West End in Nashville this Saturday at 10am if you’re interested.
Far be it for one man to judge another, but yall is goin ta hell. I have known the thoughts of many people and upon hearing their thoughts waves of intersightfullness boiled within. The ficalty of thoery brings questions that no single soul should bare. I grant each of your cameled sumptions with ahead of time answers. Listen to truth that lives in rant and know that four things will always stand true. Moles and rats will speak of their nightly quests and gather not for any season but live daily off the squanders of men alike. Secondly, just as the he goat craves a sheperd so also and most notably will the infant of understanding. And like the he goat they of little understanding will be left to kudzu hills. Three, just as the snow drifts so will the unleashed dog and both will bite. Fourthly and lastithly, though the sun and moon pass the ocean is the daughter that will not marry and for her we disputh our tangle. Give not to the poor but bury the wealth and for all men sanity will swell. I say these god forsaken truths so that in dreams I may know the mornin will come to the predestined and the rebels of oak shall splinter at dawn.
Name's Rex. Otherwise known as ole Cocaine Nostril by my momma and those who might or might not be my diddy. All those dudes at the bowling alley and all those perverts beatin off at the duck pond have taught me one thing--he who can dunk on a ten-foot goal can REALLY dunk on a nine-foot goal. I can do either one, drunk on cough syrup or not.
I was drinking a Tiger Woods Gatorade the other day and the finest woman you've ever seen came up to me. "You Rex?" she asked.
"I sure as shit am," I replied.
"The one that works at the volunteer fire department and sells homemade honey and frogskin huntin jackets on ebay the other days?" She responded.
"Does a bear shit in the woods?"
"You've gained some weight," she replied.
"Well peace out, bitch," I roared. "It's called fat by the pound and I gained most of it in my weiner. That's why I wear different sized Dockers now."
Which brings me to the lesson I gather you all here to teach: people with cankles are trying to takeover the world. You know the type: pale as pasta with some neutral colored hair and shaped like a Tiger Woods Gatorade bottle and their calves just blah down into their ankle in one smooth line. Cankles. Why do you think nobody we don't have the summer olympics anymore? Only the archery people could have cankles and win, but in the winter games they all have cankles. Also, why do you think socks are so baggy around the ankles and narrow around the calf? I have to cut slits in top of my socks so my calf will fit in and put a rubber band around the ankle area to keep them from blowing in the breeze.
Folks, if ya'll have learned anything today, it should be this much: no man alone can hide from a frog as well as a man in a 100% frogskin frogsuit. Put on a pair of goggles and have a red fruit roll-up hangin out of your mouth, and they won't be able to tell you apart until you've already gigged em. Try Rex's Big and Tall Frog Suit, but if you have cankles, try some other suit because your fat ankles will not fit in this one.
Peace out, bitches.
I was drinking a Tiger Woods Gatorade the other day and the finest woman you've ever seen came up to me. "You Rex?" she asked.
"I sure as shit am," I replied.
"The one that works at the volunteer fire department and sells homemade honey and frogskin huntin jackets on ebay the other days?" She responded.
"Does a bear shit in the woods?"
"You've gained some weight," she replied.
"Well peace out, bitch," I roared. "It's called fat by the pound and I gained most of it in my weiner. That's why I wear different sized Dockers now."
Which brings me to the lesson I gather you all here to teach: people with cankles are trying to takeover the world. You know the type: pale as pasta with some neutral colored hair and shaped like a Tiger Woods Gatorade bottle and their calves just blah down into their ankle in one smooth line. Cankles. Why do you think nobody we don't have the summer olympics anymore? Only the archery people could have cankles and win, but in the winter games they all have cankles. Also, why do you think socks are so baggy around the ankles and narrow around the calf? I have to cut slits in top of my socks so my calf will fit in and put a rubber band around the ankle area to keep them from blowing in the breeze.
Folks, if ya'll have learned anything today, it should be this much: no man alone can hide from a frog as well as a man in a 100% frogskin frogsuit. Put on a pair of goggles and have a red fruit roll-up hangin out of your mouth, and they won't be able to tell you apart until you've already gigged em. Try Rex's Big and Tall Frog Suit, but if you have cankles, try some other suit because your fat ankles will not fit in this one.
Peace out, bitches.
Thanks Rex. I finally understand why I too wear different size Dockers.
As for the 100% frogskin frogsuit, I suggest that the underside be of a darker color to make sure you are not detected by the spotlights of the cankle sporting archers when they come at you with their gig poles.
There is a way to save the world from cankles. A wiser man than myself whom I used to kick it with back in the day shared with me this philosiphy:
"Make sure you knock up a woman with high calves. This will ensure that your kids will have high calves."
I firmly believe this to be true. I also believe from the bottom of my heart that Agent McEnroe would agree.
As for the 100% frogskin frogsuit, I suggest that the underside be of a darker color to make sure you are not detected by the spotlights of the cankle sporting archers when they come at you with their gig poles.
There is a way to save the world from cankles. A wiser man than myself whom I used to kick it with back in the day shared with me this philosiphy:
"Make sure you knock up a woman with high calves. This will ensure that your kids will have high calves."
I firmly believe this to be true. I also believe from the bottom of my heart that Agent McEnroe would agree.
This here is Montey, I went to middle school with Rex until I got kicked out for stealing peanut butter balls from the cafteria and sellin 'em ta kids on the playground. Point is....Rex is full of S-H-I-T, and he knows it. He aint made a wooden nickle off them frog suits and the only way he could get a bitch is if he gigged her. Last time I saw Rex's ass he was faken like someone nocked the breath out of 'em so he could get a free frosty from the late night drive through window at Wendeys. The only job hes ever had was as a volunteer leaf blower, or as Lou Dobbs would say, an illegal alien. And the last bitch he got on was a contract roofer with "CANKLES" that ended up calling ya boy Rex, 'Lil Wii.
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Always a funny read, can't wait to see what you post next!
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