Category: general -- posted at: 11:14 AM
Comments[7]

"A white shirt can make even an ugly man look like a million bucks...and a colored shirt can make a handsome lad look like a goblin." --Checkov, fashion icon, pictured at right in Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Category: general -- posted at: 8:20 PM
Comments[12]

What up folkz?  It's ya boy O. Horse Helium, back in da beryllium fo da zig-zag, side-titty, up-and-down titty (2,00,8).  My ole buddy Prodigy is blogging from hiz bid in da bing-clink and he got some real knowledge to drop.  Readin dis kinda deep thankin got me wantin to drop some knowledge facts on dat ass.  So first read ma boy Prodigy, den minez.  Den you share da factz n knowledge that be in yo pale and corny shriveled-ass soulz.  Bet five minez iz realer dan yos. 
 
RITUALISTIC MURDER

WHAT’S GOING ON YALL?  WELL EVERYDAY IS AN ADVENTURE IN THIS PLACE.  I THINK I’VE READ SO MANY BOOKS THAT I GOTTA TAKE A WEEK OFF FROM READING BEFORE I GET INTO MY NEXT 3 BOOKS.  FOR THE PAST 4 DAYS, I’VE BEEN JUST WRITING THESE BLOGS.  I HAVE A LIST FULL OF TOPICS I’VE MADE TODAY, SO I CAN JUST LOOK AT THE LIST AND PICK A TOPIC TO BEGIN BREAKING IT ALL DOWN.  TODAY, I DECIDED TO GET ON SOME REAL SERIOUS SHIT.  ALL MY BLOGS ARE SERIOUS, BUT THIS ONE IS VERY PERSONAL, AND IT WILL HIT CLOSE TO HOME.  

WHAT ABOUT THE RITUALISTIC MURDER?  
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?  HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF IT? WELL MANY RITUALISTIC MURDERS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME, BUT PEOPLE DON’T EVEN REALIZE THAT A RITUAL IS TAKEN PLACE.  FOR THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW: A RITUAL IS A RELIGIOUS OR NON-RELIGIOUS SEQUENCE OF ACTS INITIATED IN ORDER TO CONJURE UP OR PRODUCE A POSITIVE AND/OR NEGATIVE ENGERY.  HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF RITUALISTIC MURDER, THAT YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T REALIZE:

W.T.C. 9-11-  IT AMAZES ME HOW THE FAMILIES OF THE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR LIVES IN THIS BUILDING ON SEPTERMBER 11, 2001, ARE NOT RAISING HELL OVER THIS BULLSHIT.  THE PRESIDENT (BUSH), THE F.B.I., THE FEMA AND EVERY OTHER GOV. AGENCY ARE LYING TO THEM AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT THE FACTS OF THIS CASE.  

THERE WERE BOMBS GOING OFF ON JUST ABOUT EVERY FLOOR AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT CAUSED THE TOWERS TO COLLAPSE SO PERFECTLY IN DEMOLITION FORMATION.  THE STEEL BEAMS THAT HELD THOSE BUILDINGS UP WERE IMPOSSIBLE TO DESTROY WITH FIRE FROM JET FUEL.  THIS WAS CONFIRMED BY NUMEROUS EXPERTS IN THE FIELD OF FIRE, STEEL, AND JET FUEL. 
LOOK THEM UP AND YOU’LL SEE.  SIMPLY GOOGLE OR USE ANY SEARCH ENGINE OF YOUR CHOICE. 

PRESIDENT BUSH SAYS DURING A PRESS CONFERENCE ON 9/11 “WE WILL NOT TOLERATE OUTRAGEOUS CONSPIRACY THEORIES!”   I CAN HEAR HIM NOW: “OH, WE DEFINETLY WON’T TOLERATE THAT SHIT!”  THE SAME DAY, SEPT. 11TH 2001, SOMETHING ALSO HIT THE PENTAGON.  

BE IT A PLANE OR MISSILE, IT DOESN’T MATTER.  THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THE FACT THAT THE PENTAGON WAS SET ON FIRE, THEY’VE ACTUALLY SET A PENTAGRAM ON FIRE.  ONLY SATANIC WORSHIPPERS SET PENTAGRAMS ON FIRE, WHEN THEY PRACTICE THEIR RITUALS.  

THEREFORE, BY KILLING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE IN A MASS CREAMATION IN THE W.T.C. TOWERS AND BURNING A PENTAGRAM AT THE SAME TIME, THEY’VE COMMITED RITUALIST MURDER FOR ALL TO WITNESS, AND BROUGHT FORTH AN AMOUNT OF NEGATIVE ENERGY THAT WE DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND.  JUST IMAGINE WHEN MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE BEING SLAUGHTERED IN WAR. ….    

ALSO, THE PENTAGON AND THE W.T.C. ARE STRATEGICALLY BUILT ON NATURAL ENERGY LINES THAT CRISS-CROSS THE ENTIRE PLANET.  IT’S CALLED “THE WORLD GRID” OR “PLANETARY GRIDLINES.”  

WHEREVER THESE LINES CROSS, THE EARTH PRODUCES NATURAL ENERGY THAT SHOOTS UP AND DOWN IN A VORTEX OR DOUBLE HELIX SHAPE.  JUST LIKE THE SHAPE OF DNA.  (PEOPLE IF YOU RESEARCH YOU WILL LEARN.)  THIS VORTEX OF ENERGY IS NATURAL AND CAN BE USED FOR POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE; DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH IT.  

MISSING CHILDREN-  FOR YEARS CHILDREN HAVE BEEN DISAPPEARING AT AN ALARMING RATE.  WE’VE ALL SEEN THEM ON THE BACK OF MILK CARTONS AND THE NEWS.  MILLIONS OF CHILDREN ARE MISSING AND NOBODY SEEMS TO BE STRESSING THE QUESTION TO WHY.  WHERE ARE ALL THESE CHILDREN GOING?  

HOW CAN YOU HAVE SO MANY MISSING CHILDREN AND NOT HAVE IT DECLARED AS A NATIONAL EMERGENCY?  I CAN TELL YOU WHAT’S GOING ON HERE, BUT THE ANSWER IS VERY DISTURBING AND DOWN RIGHT DISGUSTING……………….. THESE “ELITE” GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT YOU KEEP HEARING ME SPEAK OF ARE BROKEN DOWN INTO SEVERAL GROUPS WITH SMALLER FRACTIONS.  THEY’RE THE SECRET SOCIETIES OF THE WORLD.   

THE SKULL & BONES GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE PIRATES AND WAY BEFORE THEN.  ANOTHER OLD SOCIETY HIGH UP ON THE TOTEM POLE IS THE ‘BOHEMIAN GROVE” SECRET SOCIETY.  THIS GROUP OF ELITE HAVE RECENTLY BEEN EXPOSED.  THEY HOLD MEETINGS IN THE CALIFORNIA REDWOOD FOREST AND PRACTICE RITUALS WHERE THEY WORSHIP A GIANT DEMON OWL CALLED “MOLECH” AND THEY DO “MOCK” SACRIFICES TO THEIR GOD “MOLECH”’ WHERE THEY BURN A BABY IN A BONFIRE, WITH HUNDREDS OF MEMBERS WATCHING.  

CONTROVERSIAL TALK SHOW HOST “ALEX JONES” RECENTLY SNUCK A CAMERA INTO THE WOODS AND FILMED THE ENTIRE CEREMONY.  ALSO PICTURES OF MEMBERS IN HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITES THAT TAKE PLACE AT BOHEMIAN GROVE MEETINGS, HAVE SURFACED ON THE NEWS AND NEWPAPERS.  PLEASE DON’T BELIEVE ME, RESEARCH ALL OF THIS YOURSELF ON THE NET.  

PEOPLE I’M SORRY TO SAY BUT 95% OF THESE MILLIONS OF MISSING CHILDREN ARE BEING USED AS A PART OF THESE ELITE SOCIETIES DEMONIC AND SATANIC RITUALS.  THEY ARE BEING SEXUALLY MOLESTED BECAUSE IN THESE IN THESE SATANIC RITUALS WHEN THEY MOLEST A CHILD THEY’RE CONJURING UP A NEGATIVE ENERGY.  

NOT ONLY ARE THESE MISSING CHILDREN BEING USED AS SEXUAL TOOLS IN SATAN WORSHIP, BUT THEY’RE ALSO BEING EATEN AS A PART OF THESE VERY SAME RITUALS.  A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T REALIZE THAT CANNIBALISM IS A PART OF SATANIC WORSHIP.  THEY TELL THE PUBLIC ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE JEFFREY DAHMER AND OTHER’S LIKE HIM, BUT THEY LEAVE OUT THE PART ABOUT WHY THEY’RE DOING IT.  LOOK AT MOVIES LIKE “SILENCE OF THE LAMBS” OR THE ORIGINAL “SILENCE OF THE LAMBS,” WHERE THEY STOLE THE IDEA FROM IS A MOVIE CALLED “MANHUNT.”  

ALSO WATCH THE MOVIE “HANNABAL” AND THERE IS ANOTHER MOVIE BY THE HUGHES BROTHERS ABOUT THE REAL STORY OF JACK THE RIPPER, STARRING JOHNNY DEPP.  I FORGOT THE NAME OF IT BUT JUST USE THE INTERNET PEOPLE! IT’S VERY SIMPLE.  JUST DO A SEARCH ON HUGHES BROTHERS FILMS.  
 
 
And now, ya boy, Horse:
PEOPLE, IF YOU ONLY LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY BEFORE THE GOVERNOR OF ALABAMA (LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS) PUTS A SILENCER (MADE FROM METAL SOYBEANS WHICH ANCIENT DAY LABORERS USED FOR BALL BEARINGS) ON MY MOUTH THEN YOU CAN HEAR WHAT YOU NEED TO AVOID GETTING ARMPITS HERPES AND OTHER GOVERNMENT (LOU DIAMOND)-MADE DISEASES.  PEOPLE YOU CAN ONLY CURE IT WITH A BALL PEEN HAMMER AND A CAN OF VIENNA SAUSAGES. 
 
ONE OF THE OTHER BEST PLOTS OF THE SO-CALLED FEDERAL RESERVE IS MAKING MONEY THAT TURNS YOUR HANDS INTO GREEN PYRAMIDS AND MAKE A GOVERNMENT EYE ON THE END OF EACH FINGER (GET A MICROSCOPE AND LOOK AT YOUR MONEY PEOPLE).  IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT TED DANSON--THE FAMOUS CHILD CHEF FROM ALASKA--AND THE OPOSSUM "THAD" HAVE JOINED FORCES WITH NICK NOLTE FROM SAVED BY THE BELL TO STEAL MY NIGHTLY ICE CREAM AND COOK IT WITH A CALCULATOR-POWERED OVEN. 
 
IF "THAD" IS SIMPLY ALLOWED TO TAKE AMBIEN AND PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP, THEN PEOPLE I HAVE TO SUGGEST THAT YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE ICE CREAM I NEED FOR ME VERY OWN SURVIVAL.  EXPERTS IN THE FIELDS OF MILK, ICE, AND LIFETIMES WILL TELL YOU THAT POURING ICE CREAM ON YOUR HEAD WILL INCREASE YOUR LIFE BY THREE HOURS PER DAY UNLESS YOU SMOKE FLAVORED CIGARETTES, AT WHICH TIME YOUR LIFE WILL DECREASE BY FOUR HOURS PER DAY--THE TIME THE AVERAGE WOMAN SPENDS SEARCHING FOR MUSHROOMS GROWING IN TRIANGLE SHAPED COW PATTIES. PEOPLE THIS IS THE ONLY TRUE METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL FOR HUMANS.  (IF YOU RESEARCH YOU WILL LEARN!).
Now what you got?
Category: general -- posted at: 12:03 PM
Comments[27]

Damn.  We had some joke-ass jokes wrote up dere.  Horse and Penelope had to thank bout dat shit fo a minute.  Penelope's fave-rits wuz Pippen...Pippen Longstocking, and Kareem...Krispy Kareem by Play Like Crazy Nate and Kooky...Kooky Blaylock, by Checkov.

Now, I liked dem too, but Kooky don't make no damn sense anyway you look at it, and Krispy Kreme cain't play no ball--he jus sit dere lookin glazed.  Pippen Longstocking gay as hell.

So I put my top three out dere:  Krispy Kareem, Mourning...Mourning Breaf by Checkov, and Goat...Goat Herder, by Coach Homeboy.

Mourning Breaf was hard to beat.  Alonzo Mourning funny to thank about and so is stank dumpster breaf, and so is sayin "breaf."  But Mournin Breaf like Krispy Kareem--cain't play no ball, just hang out, sad, smellin like butt fo what. 

So da winna iz:  Coach Homebody.  Goat can mean Shawn "Goatman" Faust, who play wit da Globetrotters, or Earl "The Goat" Managoat.  And Goat Herder is a real dude too.  He wear robes and got a long beard, and one a dem question mark sticks dat he use to kag up the sheep-goats.  Now picture dat dude own the court.  Dat's why Coach Homeboy win--he be thankin.   

Category: general -- posted at: 4:10 PM
Comments[9]

Now we had 765 folks download one a our podcasts last year--Libary Don't Stop--and had mo dan 70 download last week's.  But ain't nobody but Luke Duke say shit about em.  Ya boy Checkov sometime say sumthin. 

So I wanna see if yall can bus a grape witta fruit basket.  I's jokin this dude out own the skreet otha day.  He wa like, shit yo white ass cain't ball.  So I took his goat ass over to the court...shut his ass down like double pneumonia.  11-5, 11-2.  So then I started tellin him what his game like.  His favorite playa was same as mines--Jason Kidd.  So I wa like:

"You play like Jason...Jason Voorhees." [dat dude from Friday da 13th]


"You play like Carmello...Carmello Soprano."


So what I wanna know, in the comments section, is what else I coulda told his goof-troop ass?  I know yall checkin.  I see it pop up own da map.  So put somethin down.  Ain't nuthin to it but to do it.  Yall ain't even gotta do basketball playas, you could do footballers.  I'll shut his ass down in dat too.

You play like  ___  ... ____.
Category: general -- posted at: 8:01 PM
Comments[38]

After tomar-ing numerous margaritas and yuca con chicharron, a crew of wildass folk made their way to O. Horse and Penelope's square for a much anticipated rematch between the team of O. Horse and Icky (joined by R-Garr) and the team of Penelope and Decagon D. Konz (joined by Fergie and her lady lumps).

Icky stepped his game up and carried the team for a while, but then faltered when he drew the picture above--all four humanoid characters are part of the clue.  It was supposed to be "bad style."  He said the outfits were sweater vests.


Thanks to this drawing, we lost.  Way to go Icky.
Category: general -- posted at: 10:49 PM
Comments[3]

In honor of the recent rash of births and pregnancies--Coach Homeboy, Mr. MacMurtough, Magdalena, etc.--I want to put together the brains of everybody that visits this site.  We couldn't identify Icky Woods drawing last month, but I bet we can come up with the ultimate baby name.

Put your suggestions in the box below. 

There's a bunch of folks that visit the site but never comment.  This is your chance Irving, TX, Rogersville, AL, Sweden, Spain, and San Francisco. 
Category: general -- posted at: 11:21 AM
Comments[6]

Last night, after the DCist photography opening and some bangin ass tortilla soup, O. Horse, Penelope, Icky Woods, and his babe played some late-night, homemade Pictionary.  Icky and Horse made an amazing comeback, roaring back from a 16-point deficit to win in the final round. 

Icky did proffer one curious interpretation of a clue, and O. Horse was stumped for the full one and a half minutes.  Given that the game was winding down and the score was tight, Icky became irate and cussed Horse out for not being able to guess what his drawing was.

So, to settle our argument as to whether Icky's a bad drawer or Horse is a bad guesser, I asked folks to guess what it was.  Nobody even came close--see for yourself in the comments section.  I guess nobody could tell what that damn thing was.  Finger puppet?
Category: general -- posted at: 12:03 PM
Comments[14]

This morning, we woke up about 10:00-just in time to see the snow begin to come down.  Within a few hours, there was about 4 inches of snow on the ground.  So my girlfriend Penelope and I set out on a walk around Capitol Hill, where we had a few snowball wars and tried to make the world's largest snowman.

The picture above captures Shilpi as she is about to leap into the air and catch a snowflake on her tongue, toad-style.
Category: general -- posted at: 8:23 PM
Comments[4]

You want moves?  In Alabama, we got moves like dis...
Direct download: Dan_Dancing.3g2
Category: general -- posted at: 4:02 PM
Comments[1]


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